She wore a white cloth diaper with lots of safety pins stuck through it on her head, wrapped like a turbin surrounding her stubby areas of black hair that still remained., other areas with no hair. The thick glasses were handed down from the local eye bank or probably my father and she finally got a telephone in her wooden shanty when she was 90 years of age. Time stood still in Cameron SC and it still does.

Daisy imprinted herself on me as a baby, from the time our eyes locked, having lived over 70 years and counting when she came to be our “Mammy”. In the south, they were not housekeepers or babysitters but lovingly called Mammy’s. Today, even fourty years plus later, Mammy is not an appropriate term or considered politically correct when speaking of the hired “help.” She was not that, she was so much more. She was a boo boo kisser, a spanker when it called for it, a bean shucker, a flu shot giver, and a hugger, the most important quality of any good Mammy, a hugger.

To me Daisy was not hired help but my family. No matter what the white folks thought of her or how they treated her, she still was like my second mother and I am white, she was Black, but I am not describing the difference in our colors, rather the important difference in the mindsets that shaped these derogatory cultures that  spawned slavery. A dreaded curse for the south and having to relive it whenever I say I am from the South, that is the first thing that people think of. I get asked so many times, “Have you seen the movie the help?”  Yes, and Yes to what you are going to ask me.

There are fond memories of her sitting on the living room couch, or chair watching tv with a corn cob pipe in her mouth, the hair wrap, and her very thick coke bottle bottom glases, shelling beans or peas while we played with our toys. The moth ball smell never came out of her clothes and she had the “black smell” that only particular older blacks from the South had. It was in her skin and such a distinct smell that if she were to come around me now, I could pick her out of a hundred souls because of her skin’s smell.

I was known as the boy baby. Not because I am a boy, but rather a tom boy among girls. I had all the bumps and bruises on my body that my baby brother should of had. I was rough and tumble, tree climing, bush hogging female. So with that kind of nature, I was very accident prone. Mama threatened to name me Grace. That was how my parents and especially Daisy could tell me apart from my very feminine twin sister Amy, was that I was the wearer of plastic bandaids and the bearer of deep scars.

She never learned to read or write always signing her name with an x when asked. Picking cotton in the fields of South Carolina were left to the blacks starting at the age of of a child, and no one ever knew how old she really was when the good Lord called her home because they did not give birth certificates to slaves or children of slaves. Daisy’s mother and father were what history books speak about, the chained African American’s of long ago, sold openly on the slave market in cities such as Charleston and she was one of many children in her family that grew up and lived in Cameron SC.

Married at age 13, Daisy had 9 children, some not making it out of the womb, or maybe she was 9 years of age when she married and had 13 children. I simply can’t remember that part. When she died, her alcoholic son Thomas, was there but most had already gone on to be with their Lord. Why did the almighty let her live so long? Daddy thought she was well, well over 100 years of age when she died but sadly, there was no way to prove it.

When Mama and Daddy had bridge club nights out, all of us children, four in total would line up on the couch and watch Daisy sleep in the leather chair. Her body would jump violently and we would start crying and screaming, never waking her up. She slept like the dead when she closed her eyes. We were afraid she was having a heart attack in her sleep or feared the worst, she was dead. Sometimes she did it to pull a prank on us. Doctors kids know everything about everything and we swore she was dying. Mama and Daddy would eventually come rushing home to find everything normal as it should have been and Daisy still alive.

When Daddy died, I gave Daisy Daddy’s wheel chair. I wheeled her upfront to be with the family, and covered her up with his blanket. She was family. She was my cherished Daisy and no one was going to tell me otherwise. Color didn’t matter to me. It never did. Even when the community of Cameron SC made my father build a waiting room onto his medical clinic for the coloreds, the blacks in the 1970’s or 1980’s, because they smelled funny, I never saw color.

Being the outcast, rebel and instigator, I enrolled in the Miss Black Orangeburg pageant. I did it to cut the stigma  between colors. The audience gasped when I walked out on stage. It was to prove a point at age 15. I did exactly that. Even though it was not the right kind of point to make, maybe it coming from a teenager who hated the segregation even in modern times, might have touched someone. I did it. I did it to prove there is no difference in color of a human being.  I can still hear that loud gasp from the hundred or so patrons and some certain members of the audience saying, “What in the hell is that crazy Lawton girl thinking?”

Today, my soul says go home, just go home Mary to the piece of history that few know about. To that special place that doesn’t exist today. I will, eventually, but I don’t think the time is right. The sad part is seeing what the South still believes in. If I could have given Daisy more, I would have because she gave me so much. She gave me the biggest hug of my life.

Copyrighted, TM 2000  from my book

A Portal

This morning as I was in my hotel bathroom, preparing myself for work, off to my left, I caught a vision of the doorway, the path, leading to the other side. It was right there, beside me. It has never appeared to me that way before. i have witnessed the giant marble steps that my twin walked up when she cried for help to seeing the Arch Angel Michael appearing before me in a whiteness with the golden light behind him. The idea that it was my time had suddenly crossed my mind but this vision vanished a few seconds as fast it appeared. Was a spirit coming through that it opened for? They don’t normally enter my world this way or if they did, they didn’t make it so announced.
This was not a door per say as we know it with a door handle, knob or sliding glass but an opening of white, almost as if a cloud had formed into a doorway. This opening I knew. I immediately knew what it was intended for, a white entry way leading into what I could not see, a walkway, a path to follow and it was filled with love. When it closed, it closed from the bottom up. There was nothing to be afraid off. Nothing at all. Was this the proverbial tunnel that so many people speak of. Was this the way a soul travels in a near death experience only to return and tell of? Their diminishing senses upon the death of their body is awakened with a renewed sense of life. This journeying soul ifeels an all encompassing love from a golden light on the other side and is  greeted by lost loved ones, This we know from store.
If it was indeed my time, then I would have gone right there as it was the most welcoming feeling, the most loving feeling I have had for a long time.
Magicians use smoke machines to create an illusion of mystic means and this was no different. It appeared and as soon as it appeared it was gone.
Was I to die this day? Was the door intended for my soul not yet finished with it’s mission? Why did I see the entrance to what some refer to as the pearly gates, the golden gates, the heavens, leading to a power much greater than ourselves? Perhaps this was not meant for me but to relay this to someone else, so that they know not to be afraid. Perhaps that I was born with the gift of being a medium, I am to relay this message. Justly so, Perhaps.
Scrooge was not there with the angel of death pointing his ghostly, craggly thin skeletal finger at his demise. Darkness didn’t appear and fade into another drama of the wrongs I committed in this lifetime, rather a lighted path, a warm loving path laid out before me only I could not see the path but yet, an all knowing of it being there. This is what a medium has been gifted with, an all knowing in a way to see, to hear, to feel the other side and the souls in it.
The vision went on to a gradual fading of everything we know, as depicted in the movies, but can only be described similar in circumstance to a passenger looking out of a airplane window. The view is starting to become obscured, with a thick blanket of whiteness overtaking the view, the clouds slowly dissipating what the eye has before it. The natural light fades with the onset of the clouds and then a brilliant golden light emits from above as though the sun peeked its way out. The noise, all noise cancels and the harmonious voices of thousands of souls singing can be heard in the background.
When i state that the doorway is open upon ushering in a reading, the doorway is different. The souls that have crossed are now in a different room behind a different door, like a large conference room standing in line, waiting their turn, a holding room. They come freely, some not all or all but not some will inevitably show. The doorway is different than the doorway I saw today. However, it all leads to the same magnificent place, a place that offers total unconditional love, like the puppy you have who just wants to show you how much he bestow his gratitude and love upon you. Unconditional love is what awaits us with no strings attached.
As I walked out of the hotel and boarded the plane, I experienced Dejavu as we ascended into the clouds. I relived what I felt in the bathroom this morning. It can’t be lived twice, so I know this vision was not intended for me but to relay it to others as a remote viewer, psychic and medium.
This is what Heaven wants you to know.

Three Escorts

He saw angels standing at his window sill in the hospital room. Large angels that were waiting on him. The fragile hairless man who stood up was ravaged by the disease that had him. Yet, he jumped out of bed to see his companions who would, along with his father escort him to the otherside. He had never seen an angel before, there were three waiting on him, their wings outstretched, all in white gowns, with crowns of gold on their heads were waiting for one of their beloved souls to cross. He asked if I saw them. I had to see them! They were so beautiful!

A few hours later, this fragile man was comatose muttering in his sleep, “How are you going to take me home? Yes, I want to go home. How are we going to get there? Piggy back?” then he laughed.
I knew he was talking to his father, my Granddaddy, who was present in the room, ready to retrieve his son. He had died about 12 years earlier of a different form of the disease that had my father.
I stepped out after that to refresh myself and left the hospital grounds for a while. Suddenly upon walking through the parking garage tunnel that led to the hospital, I knew he was going. I innately knew my father was not to live much longer. A voice whispered to me, hurry, just hurry. Running to meet death, I had to tell him goodbye.
Holding his hand while his breaths were shallow, strained and heavy, gargled by the mucous in his chest. I asked him to check on me from time to time, and to tell God and Jesus I said hello, that I loved him dearly. I always would.

Not yet fully able to come to grips with his death which was so imminent, I held back what I really wanted to say and that was to say how lucky I was to have him as a loving father, one who stood by me all those years and who only wanted the best for me. No girl could have been as lucky as me.

He squeezed my hand. In that moment, I knew he could hear me. He knew. There is life in a comatose state before we pass. Thank God he knew how much I loved him.

With all the family around, he arose from his coma to ask what was happening with his body. My sister, a physician, had to tell him, “Daddy, you are in the hospital.  He asked, “why?”
“Because Daddy, you are dying of lung cancer.”
He nodded as though he understood, being a doctor himself. He then said he loved everyone very much and laid back down, his head upon the soft pillow and stopped breathing.

What Heaven Really Wants Us To Know

The lady in the elevator was rude. Pointing out that I could not see the number 5 had been pressed and not 3. Not looking up to meet my eyes, was a way of hers to let me know I was less than, not important in her world or others. I didn’t matter. It happens every day, all day, the mentality of others toward others.

The young man standing in the get together with other young cronies, some of them female, starts to laugh when they lay eyes upon me. Is it the way I look or that I am older? Am I not dressed nice enough? Is it a way of being defiant and important in their world, to shun the older people as not important? Is it a way to make someone feel less than? It’s the mentality off others toward others.

The cute puppy immediately runs up to me as I exit the elevator, picking me out of strangers walking past. He knows. He sees what I try to carry, what I try to instill in others, the “Good Soul”. It only comes with the white light. Animals know when you are a good person or not. Their built in uncanny sense of awareness is very distinctual and humans do not poessess it. I carry the white light. I am merely one of millions of souls on this planet in a body but my soul tries to walk along God’s path.

What Heaven really wants us to know is that we as individuals are indeed loved, by something much bigger than what we will ever be able to see while alive unless you have a gift or unless you someone meet your maker but come back. Heaven wants us to know that when our time comes we don’t just go away but are still learning. We have a job to do here, to learn how to be better souls in a body that perhaps might not work, might not be perfect and might not be what we wanted. We still have to learn from our mistakes and right the wrong. Learn from the mentality of others so that you don’t repeat it.

We need to learn to be grateful for what we have, be grateful to be able to give to others perhaps the last dollar we own, the last smile a person may see, or the last laugh someone may experience from our jokes. It comes with compassion and it comes from God.

Empathy and compassion, stepping outside of our own needs to see the lost dog on the street, the homeless man asking for money or food, to the person who suffers from mental illness. It doesn’t matter how much money we have, what we wear. What does matter is how we treat people, the mentality of others toward others.

If you saw an elderly woman walking outside in the pouring rain would you cover her with your umbrella and help her? If you saw an elderly man with a flat tire would you call someone or ask if he is okay? If you saw a lost dog or cat would you try to help get it to its home?

Say you are rich, so you donate money to a worthy cause. It does not mean your soul is good. You donate it to give it away because if you don’t, the government will take it in tax form. What were your motives to begin with? Do you personally hand people money instead? Do you personally go out of your way to help an indivdual in need or find the most needy to help? Did you buy a turkey for the lady who supports her grandkids and disabled husband and yet, she only has one lung and lives on food stamps? What have you done to deserve being called a Good Soul”? Remember, the mentality of others towards others.

Directions From The Other Side

It never fails to amaze me

everytime I fly to Italy to see my family I plan on going to  see my twin sisters grave. She died and was interred in Rome Italy in 2002.

Trying to find her actual family plot in the Italian myriad of mass graves, pauper markings and glass moseleums is quite a feat. She always comes through.

The very first I soloed my driving trip to her grave I was so very upset but had the faith she would instruct me where to go. She did. She led me to her grave as though I had been going there all the time.

The “backup’s, go one block, make a right, to yelling stop so loud in my head I thought my brain would burst, succeeded in confirming she was I need still with me.

This time was no different.  A simple Beth, you’ve gone one block too far,to I am behind that wall of trees once again proved she is still with me . This time I had a passenger who witnessed it first hand and he was Jewish.

Slave and Ghosts from The Past

Litchfield Plantation
I went there as a psychic and medium right after Ghost Hunters the tv show went there, trying to capture something out of the ordinary. My job was different in that, my abilities are not scientific based but rather a direct connection to the other side and the messages they have to send us. Specifically, I was to help the owner and to tell him what I saw. This was in late September 2015. Upon arrival to the grounds I exited my black car and suddenly, without warning, went down grasping my head in pain. Absolute pain. The kind of pain that makes you wonder if you are dying. I just kept holding it and saying to my partner in my business, my head, my head. In this case, someone did die and I was feeling what that person died from. An empath you say? Yes, I am that as well and a remote viewer, but it was also a spirit getting a message across to me. A spirit with no name or face. Incognito. It happens on occasion.
Just then a big just polished SUV pulls up and out of it climbs the most fit and handsome man with the bluest eyes I have laid eyes on. He was the owner of the plantation. Young to my oldness. But he was so kind as to have me there and Joe and I made ourselves right at home. It was going to be a long two days with doing our recordings into the wee morning hours.
I looked at the owner still holding my head due to the pain and said, Hi, I am Mary, Sorry but as soon as I got here I got the worst head ache and I dont get headaches. He just looked at me.
I told him, someone died of a head injury or brain injury and they had something to do with this plantation. He just kept staring at me.
I also told him he had a father figure standing behind him. He acknowledged his father indeed did die. I asked what he died from and he said, a brain hemorrage. Theres the proof there. It was his father who I was feeling. Still didn’t see him as clearly as I normally see spirits but it was his father who died of the brain injury.
A brain hemorrage or anuerism is one of the worst headaches you would every experience in your life. I know because my ex husband actually survived one.
While at Litchfield, I saw a slave cook at the outdoor kitchen, actually about 8 of them but one stood out. She was a very short and very overweight cook from the mid to late 1700’s or early 1800’s dressed in a head scarf, long dirty white apron to the ground, long sleeves and a long dress that she obviously made herself. I don’t know her name but she is still stuck to the plantation, perhaps a home she grew to love and admire. In one of our taped conversations, she said to me, “Good Life Here”.
Joe and I were visited by two little girls running and laughing. No sight of them but I heard them clear as day out on the balcony and Joe heard them at the same time while he sat on the front porch. They are probably the same children who died at an early age and both had the same name. A older girl accompanies them, probably Mona who is dressed in a blue dress, with dark hair parted down the middle, and dark eyes.
I never saw the full blown apparition of Mona but I saw her if that makes sense. I can see the spirits without the proverbial full apparition.
Then my encounter with Dr. or Colonel Tucker. On several occasions, he did not want to excuse me for the way I was dressed and he certainly did not like the music I was playing at 3 am, coming across loud and clear with his repetitive no’s when I asked him if he wanted to hear it again.
He first showed up on my bedroom threshold two months early when I said I was coming out there. I looked up and a man dressed in a beige confederate or maybe Bermuda uniform walked past my bed and turned and walked back into my kitchen at my tiny apartment. He kept doing that. When I say yes to going somewhere to do a reading or yes to reading a person, the door opens and there he was. Hat, pointed white beard, spectacles, larger mid area but it could have been his uniform. White hair. It was him. He carried in his hand a small black book, almost like a bible. I found out later he was very religious and had the church moved to his property so the slaves could worship easily.
Litchfield was the largest slave plantation, rice growing plantation in the South during those times and he had close to 150 slaves at any one given time working the rice fields.
I lost my temper with him one time when I got upset as to how he treated the slaves and that slavery was wrong and you can hear on one of the tapes Dr. Tucker carrying on a conversation. A full blown conversation.
He mainly stayed in his office and bedroom.
So many slaves on the grounds, one was a gate keeper who had a hidden agenda to a confederate soldier who hangs out under the oak trees guarding Litchfield. He doesn’t move. One bride who was walking under the oak trees for her wedding saw him so I know I am not the only one.
Sally and about eight other slaves are on the grounds holding the body of a humungous black man with no head. Massive slave man who died apparantly maybe by a gator attack. I cant see his head and it is not there. Just some of the things I saw. Another spirit, perhaps an older woman as it was really hard to tell asked me Who are you?
The one spirit that had to go and spoil a good time was Donald parsons. A not so nice man who stole millions from the plantation, just robbing it blind leaving others to hold the bag. He is there as well and hangs out in the cottage. Evil doesn’t begin to describe him. I searched all over Pawley’s Island for white sage to do a cleansing and when Sunday came, the day for me to leave and also perform the cleansing of the cottage, Joe got a telephone call saying his alarm was going off at the house. that was not possible. Why? Debora knew the code when she went in to take care of the cats. Then again. I never stopped to think it was or could have been the evil entity trying to get me off the property so i wouldnt have to do the cleansing. It was brought to my attention. Earlier that morning, I know I saw him wave at me, Red eyes, a wave from the cottage window from where I stood in the main house. A slow wave. Unbeknownst to me, I also captured him on video pacing back and forth in the window of the cottage. At least I have proof of him.
So we gave the owner the information we had, and had him listen to the tapes and watch a few. We captured more than any other team ever had simply because I am a medium, and I have no hidden agenda. I am not using it to make myself rich or for a tv show. Spirits know this and few will talk to you if they know they are going to be used for that purpose. Most are in touch with the living world. Shortly thereafter we left and arrived back in Florida around 10 pm. I had just gotten Joe a new iPhone for the business when Siri came on. The phone was turned off. Joe didn’t know what Siri was and how to operate the phone. It was brand new. Somehow Siri came on and clearly said, “Now Now” as if to scold me. Joe and I looked at each other in disbelief, horror. There was no way. No way that phone could have powered on by itself. It was still off.
Then Siri said, “What do you call a slut in the ground?” The obvious answer to this question was “dead” I knew the answer to the question but Joe and I were to alarmed to say anything but look at each other in horror.
I knew who this came from. I knew what he intended to do to me if I returned.
I totally understood the message he was trying to send. I wasn’t dealing with a typical haunting of a greedy ex plantation manager but now a full blown demonic entity that had to be removed by a priest. I alerted the owners admin assistant as to what transpired and she said to me, the phone calls for the alarm, the phone coming on when turned off and Siri speaking to me. It was an attempt to get me off the property immediately and it was a death threat.
It was indeed a warning sent to me by Donald Parsons.
Well, I have news for him. I will be back but in the meantime, I am surrounding him with lots of God’s love and white light. I am also doing the same for me as I walk in my eternal fathers white light and love. Oh, I am also praying for his soul. For any kind of redemption that can be had.
Mary, Othersidepsychic

Hide and Seek

He didn’t want to show himself. He was married to her for far too long and when he passed, that was it for him. No more going back to check on her. It wasn’t that long after he had died that she moved another man into her bed. So what was the point? Then she started contacting me. I mean really contacting me to the point of almost abuse. Why couldn’t I bring him through to her and why couldn’t he come to her?

“I was slacking. I was useless, I wasn’t any good.” Those were her words to me on a daily basis. I, being a kind soul couldn’t bring myself to tell her, he is hiding behind a wall throwing out clues to me because he really basically doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. He is playing hide and seek, only he doesn’t want you to find him. He doesn’t want to be found.  He DOESNT WANT TO COME BACK TO YOU!!!  Really simply abusive lady, try kicking that scum bag out of your bed and show some real remorse for the loss of your husband who probably put up with you for umpteen years.  That was my thought but obviously she wanted her cake and her birthday present as well. Not going to happen. It’s not like they can’t see you and what you do. Of course they can. Just because they move from one physical body to a spiritual energy form doesn’t mean they can’t see you. They can. They can hear you too. He probably heard what you called me.

So her deceased husband hid behind the partition, a wall that reminded me of the tv show, The Dating Game from the 70’s. Now I am showing my age. He showed me signs, symbols, private things that went on their married life but refused to come all the way through. Some spirits won’t do this as they are afraid they might not get back to where they currently are. He was not the only one to do it this way. A mother who passed early in life from a heart issue also wouldn’t show herself. I think she was, I know she was ashamed and the family didn’t tell me everything but I saw it. I saw what happened to her. That’s okay. Also, some spirits who take their own life do this as well because they are also ashamed. This was not the case in this instance with this lady and her deceased husband. If I were him, heck I would run as far as eternity was long. I would keep on running.

So if I tell you I can’t bring him or her forward, but I give you all the necessary information from them so that you know without a doubt I am speaking to them,  take this as a sign that perhaps they don’t want to come back..for whatever reason.  However, for this “lonely” lady in mourning, it was because he had had enough of her crap and didn’t want to deal with it in the afterlife.


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